“Men Know That They Are A Danger To Us – But They Don’t Want Us To Know…except their daughters” – Anonymous
I saw the excerpt above at a time when I was having a conversation with friends on the issue of Rape.
The writer of that excerpt had pointed out one issue that has always been a source of concern to me. How is it that men can give their relatives, daughters, nieces advice on how to deal with other men, but at the same time get angry when other ladies who are not related to them (obviously taught by their own relatives as well) use these tricks on them.
As a lady I have always wondered whether or not the reality men live in borders on confusion, otherwise, I see no reason why a man would call me paranoid for not trusting him and seeing him as dangerous but would also turn around and call me stupid or naive if I decide to trust him and I get hurt in the process. A man would call me uptight and head strong because I won’t go home with him, but when I eventually do, I am cheap and very easy. Woe betide me, anything should go wrong at his home, then it is my fault for even going home with him in the first place.
While I have never trusted men for a minute, and I’m regarded by most of my friends as a “man-hater”, I do not also blame the men who act the way they do as I realise that it is no fault of theirs. It is the society in which we all grew up in that is at fault. Men are not born to be animals or beasts incapable of self control. It is the society that has placed them within the walls of this construct and men being the cognitive misers that they are, have accepted this as normal. Otherwise, I do not see the reason why I should be called cheap because I decided to have sex with a person, if I as well wanted it. At times you also have to blame the women, after all, they are the ones who say “he used me and dumped me” and when asked how they were used, you wouldn’t hear of their finances or mental capabilities being used by the men to get what they want. Rather, all you would hear is “sex”. I have always found this really strange especially as sex is supposed to be enjoyed by two people. How then were you used in this context if you both enjoyed it?
Our society blames women for everything and confers on a man the status “hero” for doing the same thing a woman would be called “prostitute” for.
We need to start apportioning the right amount of blame to the right quarters. A man rapes a woman because of the kind of beast he is and not because of any fault of the woman. Women should be allowed to be as sexually expressive as they want to be. No such thing as being called “cheap”, for wanting and requesting sex, should be allowed to exist. Men should realise that a woman has the right to say Yes or No to sexual advances without the fear of being forced.
But then all this may take a long time to happen because Men Know That They Are A Danger To Our Physical and Mental Wellbeing And They Like It That Way.
Article by Blessing Iyamadiken